Nothing is lost to the Lord...

As some of you know this month was my due date for our first pregnancy. I can’t help but think about our sweet little baby that would have been born at the end of this month. As any woman who has had a miscarriage knows…it’s impossible to forget. I have had two miscarriages now and I often think of how big my belly would be and what we would be doing preparing for baby. In the last nine months I have done a lot of reflecting and searching. I can’t seem to dismiss my two little ones who lived only 6 weeks inside me. A feeling keeps tugging at me that I will see them again. The words of Joseph F. Smith, John R. Winder, and Anthon H. Lund state, “The body of man enters upon its career as a tiny germ or embryo, which becomes and infant, quickened at a certain stage by the spirit whose tabernacle it is…” Modern technology reveals a heartbeat of our tiny embryos weeks after conception. Some may disagree, but if you do please don’t say so- I like to think that my little ones are baby angels waiting for me on the other side. The Lord tells us that, “Nothing is ever lost.” This to me indicates just that, nothing will ever be lost to the Lord. I will always remember and feel a connection with each baby I know was inside me. They are our children. Although we did not know them, Heavenly Father gave us the power to create them and the technology to know that they were there and that they were ours. I know that the Lord knows my grief over my loss of my tiny angels, and He will remember them always. I don’t know what the future holds for Matt and I- we’re hoping it is filled with many babies to bring many smiles into our home. Until that time we’ll continue on- knowing that our Savior is mindful of our trails and us. I will continue being the mother I am (and that every other influential woman is) by loving and mothering all the sweet children I am around each day, by being loving and compassionate for those around me, and by fulfilling my purpose on this earth. Every daughter of God who strives to fulfill her purpose is a Mother in my eyes and I believe is a Mother in the Lord’s eyes as well. Some of the greatest mother's I know never had any children. They were mother's in every way, shape, and form except biologically. As future Mother’s days come and the thoughts of my baby angels linger, I will celebrate knowing that I AM a Mother because I am doing all I can to be a daughter of God. I am thankful for the gospel in our lives. It truly brings peace to my soul. I may not know what God's plan is exactly, and I may not know what is and what isn't in His eyes, but I do know for certain that He has a plan for me and my family and that plan is a plan that will bring happiness.